So as you know I am pretty busy with work this week so I've decided to write posts early on and schedule them throughout the week, I hope you enjoy. The topic I decided to mention today was the reasons why I run a blog. I haven't been doing it for long but it has already made me super happy and a lot more confident that people are actually interested in things I do and say.
In April when I decided to start a blog it was because I had lots of clothes in my wardrobe and decided that not enough people get to see them and I knew there was a niche for plus size fashion blogs, or fatshion blogs as most bloggers call them. I haven't always been confident or comfortable with my body and I was quite badly bullied for my appearance in late primary school and high school and it just got to the point where I had lost the weight but it didn't make me any happier and people still didn't like me any more than when they did when I was bigger. Because of this I decided that I wouldn't go out of my way to change who I was to make friends. I want friends who love me and want to spend time with me for who I am, not what they want me to be.
When I was in the beginning of Year 11 I was always getting sick and just generally feeling panicked about going to school everyday that I wound get myself into such a state that I would be physically sick. This went on for a few months before my mum had the thought that maybe I had anxiety and a few weeks later I had been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, pulled out of school, started on antidepressants and spent seven or eight months in therapy. During that time, I lost quite a few people I cared about because they didn't understand the implications of mental illness and thought that I could just 'snap out of it' and I decided that I needed people in my life who didn't make me feel inferior because of an illness. After two years of recovery, I am in a much better place, but I still get anxious from time to time.
In the beginning of 2012 I moved 2 hours away from home to start university and I became more and more lonely. I had no way to express myself because uni is all about academic success, not your character and I found that being able to write down my feelings and share them to a bunch of people on a daily basis made me feel better. It made me feel like I wasn't so alone! Writing my posts has become something I look forward to and I hope reading them is something you as a reader looks forward to as well. It's somewhat cathartic for me and its also nice for me to be able to get in touch with people like me.
As much as I update this blog for readers, I also do it for myself! This journey has also helped me feel much more confident and open about who I am as a person without fearing judgement and more comfortable with my body! It's like a personal diary that I share with anyone willing to read.
I hope you all have a wonderful day! I do realise that this post is a little bit of a jumbled mess.
Just to end, I'm going to leave you with some more pictures from my trip to the park with my cousins yesterday.
Happy Blogging my Lovelies xo
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